


until the universe unfolds

by gongji



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Developing Relationship, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 03:43:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8041231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gongji/pseuds/gongji
Summary: To love, you must learn to trust. 
Gaius and Panne through the events of Awakening, as they grow and face their pasts, as they stumble and fall, as they learn to trust, and as they learn to love - themselves, each other, and those around them.





	1. cast away

When Gaius opens his eyes, he is alone. 

He must have dozed off, somewhere in the grass of the castle courtyard. It was probably the candies he’d pilfered off from his deal with Chrom, the small lemon drop candies he’d shoved into his mouth by the handful and rode the sugar high into battle - he loved sugar, yes, but too much of it definitely made him so _sleepy_. Gaius yawns and stretches, and looks up at the soft moon glowing overhead. 

It’d only been a few short hours since he agreed to join Chrom and the others, and they weren’t quite sure what to do with him yet. 

The prince had introduced him to the Shepherds not too long ago, led him into the cozy barracks and listed them each off one by one. There was Lissa, the young princess, who inspected him up and down before giving him a long nod and smile of approval (which he was thankful for if only to get some more of those lemon candies). And there was Frederick ( _“The Wary,” whatever that meant,_ ) the strict knight who did the exact opposite. “Milord, is this really a wise decision? To recruit a...a…” ( _Ah, so that’s what it meant_ ) 

Gaius had shrugged and popped another piece of candy into his mouth. “Thief. Brigand. Overall untrustworthy ne'er–do–well. Go ahead, you can say it.” It wasn’t like he’d never heard them before.

He didn’t, and left it at that. Most of them didn’t even bat an eye. Lon’qu gave him a glance, and that was all. Maribelle barely took a decent look at him, and immediately left the room. Vaike slung a friendly arm around his shoulders with a crushingly loud, “WELCOME TO THE SHEPHERDS, BUDDY!” right in his ear. The rest of them - he knew they were all wary of having a thief amongst their good Shepherd ranks, but if he were being honest with himself, he really didn’t care. He’d probably forget half their names in time anyway, and he’d only stay as long as Chrom paid him to. 

And then there was Panne.

She’d joined them around the same time he did, showing up during the attempt on the Exalt’s life, and even in the sudden and confusing chaos, Marth had trusted her, knew she’d come, sworn she wasn’t an enemy… something like that, anyway. The details weren’t really something discussed in Gaius’s company, and he wasn’t around when it happened. He and Panne were the newcomers of the party, but while he was booted to the courtyard while they decided on his fate, Panne was given an audience with Emmeryn and a room to stay in for the night.

Well, at least it wasn’t raining. Gaius supposes he’d had worse - has definitely had worse. And besides, if there was only one more room to spare, he’d rather her have it. It’s not like he’d never slept outside before, and laying on the hard ground might be better for his back anyway.

He hears footsteps, and Chrom pokes his blue head into his peripheral vision. “There are better places to take a nap than on the ground, you know.” Classic.

“Prince Blue! Nice of you to come see me. So, have I become enough of an honorary Shepherd yet to come inside?” 

“Sorry about this.” Chrom says, sitting down beside him. “It’s not you - well, I mean, _technically_ I guess it’s not. Frederick is just...wary, and living up to his name. And when Frederick and Phila team up, they’re an unstoppable force...you know, in persuasion... So, it’s just, I mean it’s really hard to fight that, I tried, but -”

“Hey, relax, I totally understand.” He does, and he also instantly understands just what kind of a person Chrom is. Here was the Prince of Ylisse, sitting casually next to a thief who, just hours earlier, allied himself with the assassins attempting to murder his sister - the _Exalt_ of _Ylisse_. And now, here he was trying to tell him that the reason he’d been kept outside was because his trusty deputy knight was _suspicious_ , and that he was _sorry_. Chrom believed in the good of people; he put his trust in others - even those he’d just met - because he believed, with all his heart, that people are inherently good. That the end to chaos isn’t by chance, but by people working together to make it happen. And that’s why he made an amnesiac stranger he’d found passed out in the fields his main tactician, why he believed the cryptic warnings from the mysterious Marth character only shortly after their arrival, why he sits in a comfortable silence with a thief who sided with the brigands who tried to stab his sister through. Or, alternatively, with a thief who, while he didn’t actually realize the intent of his former allies, had planned on robbing the royal treasury dry (and, for all intents and purposes, still sort of wanted to).

Prince Chrom has a good heart. How expectedly naive.

But it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. It was a bit charming, and Gaius finds himself drawn to that nativity and cluelessness. Maybe he’d like it here.

* * *

“Hey, you’re Panne, right?” Gaius asks the Taguel in the barracks later that night, after some time, after he’d been watching her from the corner of his eye in the hopes that she’d become a little less standoffish and a little more approachable. She didn’t, so he decides to try his chances. He extends a hand. “Gaius. Looks like we’re the two newcomers, yeah?”

She furrows her eyebrows, looks at his hand, and then at him, and doesn’t take it. “What do you want, man-spawn?”

“Not so keen on introductions are ya? I was just saying hello, we’re the only two sort of standing off to the side here so I thought we’d stand off to the side… you know, together.”

Panne removes her attention from him without an answer, like she’d deemed him unworthy of a response. Okay, cool. He takes a seat besides her and sticks another candy into his mouth. “You want one?” He offers.

She doesn’t look at him when she responds. “You may sit near me, but do not think we are friends. I have no interest in conversing with your kind.”

“Sounds like a pretty lonely time, if you ask me.”

“I did not ask you, and I did not come here to make friends. I am simply doing what I think is best for my race, for the Exalt.”

“Look, I’m just trying to be friendly --”

“I am sure the other man-spawn will appreciate your attempts at friendliness more than I will.”

Gaius flips the candy in his mouth. It hits his teeth with a clack. “At least take a candy, then. It’s sweet, do you like sweets?” He holds out the bag towards her and keeps it outstretched, even when she doesn’t turn to look at it. Finally, she does, and then looks back at him, as if she’s unsure if she should accept the kind offer.

But she takes the candy anyway and sniffs it before turning it in her hand. She’d watched him eat his, she decides it must be fine to eat. 

It’s sweet, a sugary citrus candy, tangy and sticky against her tongue. It reminds her of something she’d had long ago.

“Thank you.” She says, softly. 

“No problem.” He replies, crossing his legs and leaning against the wall. He doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t think she’d want to talk anyway, but after a few moments of silence, she turns to him. 

“What kind of candy is this?”

“Oh, these?” He shakes the bag in his hand. “Lissa had them, I dunno, but they’re good, and I don’t discriminate when it comes to sugar. Want another?” He extends the bag to her, she hesitates before taking another one, darting her gaze between the bag and him. “Take a few, I don’t mind.”

“You don’t have to be so kind.”

“Why wouldn’t I be kind? I got nothing against you. Sometimes I’d like to think I’m somewhat of a good person.” He winks. He knows why she’s asked, but doesn’t follow through in asking for any sort of confirmation. Instead, he turns his attention towards the card game happening in the front of the room - Vaike was playing confident, but even from here, Gaius can tell Stahl has the upper hand.

“You should join them.” Panne says, also watching as Stahl slaps down his winning hand, and Vaike groans. “You look like you want to.” Sully throws down her hand with a grin and a boisterous laugh, and Stahl puts his head in his hands.

“Nah, not really.” Gaius sticks another sweet in his mouth before he’s even finished with the other one. Out of habit - he didn’t really mean to do that, and now he uncomfortably juggles two candies in his mouth and tries to speak at the same time. “I just know what game they’re playing. And Muscles is really bad at it.” 

She doesn’t continue the conversation any further, stopping it short right there, but Gaius is glad he, at least for now, has someone to talk to. 

The group hovered around the table yells and cheers in surprise when Miriel, with a small smile, gently reveals her hand was the winner all along.


	2. reality

Panne had just settled into the small room they’d escorted her to when there is a soft tap at her door.

She picks up her head, and out of reflex lowers her voice harshly, menacingly, as if to threaten whoever was out there into retreat. “What do you want, man-spawn?”

“A chance to earn your trust.” is the reply, unfazed by the coarse response, voice soft and gentle. Forgiving. “May I enter?”

Panne scoffs audibly, crossing her arms, hesitating before responding with a short, “Yes.”

“Thank you, brave Taguel,” Emmeryn treads forward delicately, her footsteps light and gentle, and holds out her hand. “There are no words to express my gratitude for what you have done for us. For me.”

“Save your empty words.” Panne replies, but despite her harsh tone, the Exalt’s voice is soothing. “I told you, I only helped you because I owed my warren, and you, a debt.”

“Will you leave us, then? Now that this is over?” Emmeryn asks. “I know we’ve had our differences, I know humans and Taguel are different, but I hope we can live in harmony, and at peace together.”

“We are very different from each other, you and I, that is true.” Panne says, studying the Exalt’s expression, scanning her for any possible weapon, any threat now that they’ve had her confined in this small room, as she’d come alone. “Do not expect me to make peace with you man-spawn. Not after what you did to us. Not after…” She trails off...

“I know,” She says, her voice heavy with what could be the burden of her family’s actions before her. “And I am sorry.”

“There is little point in offering your condolences now.” Despite her words, Panne’s voice is small, choking in the back of her throat where she holds back her cries. “It is too late for that.”

“These words may come late, but they are all I have. And I am so sorry we humans have taken everything away from you.” Emmeryn lowers herself, bows her head, bends her knees in front of Panne - the Exalt of Ylisse, bowing to a Taguel for forgiveness? This sight before her was laughable, perhaps, if she were any more unsympathetic, pathetic.

Still, Panne is touched.

She holds out her hand, a slow gesture, and her next words force through her lips awkwardly. “...Please, rise… your majesty.”

The Exalt smiles, her happiness at Panne’s response radiating from her lips in such a way that Panne realizes she’d nearly forgotten what it was like to see such kindness in a person. To meet a human who understood the pain she’d suffered as her own... Emmeryn takes her hand and rises, but does not let go. “Please, call me Emmeryn. In Taguel society, everyone is treated like an equal, aren’t they?” Her head tilts as her gaze softens with her smile, bright and warm.“Will you tell me your name?”

No, Panne doesn’t want to say at this time, but because Emmeryn is the one asking, her name escapes from her lips before she can stop it. “My name is Panne. And I am the last Taguel.”

“Brave Panne, you have lived a harsh and unfair life, and I am deeply sorry. But please know, as long as you are here, in Ylisse, with me, you will be treated fairly as an equal. I cannot give you the happiness you deserve, but if I can at least provide the potential for it to blossom, I…”

“...Thank you. Emmeryn.” A slow warmth burrows into Panne’s chest, kindling. “That is all I can ask for now.”

* * *

In the days following that night, Panne had followed Emmeryn closely, a constant shadow beside Emmeryn’s brightness. Phila thought it odd, that the stoic Taguel had insisted to stand alongside her. But she was allowed to follow, and not allowed to stay, after Emmeryn had made the decision to return to Ylisstol. And Panne was to stay with Chrom. There was a fury inside Panne that ignited inside her, growing with an intense fervor deep in her stomach, and it spread up through her spine, to her arms, to her heart. _Don’t go_ , she wanted to say. _If you must, let me go with you._

_(Because you understand.)_

She nods in acceptance.

_(I don’t want to be alone again.)_

But Emmeryn had smiled, placed her hand on Lissa’s shoulders as the princess dried her tears, as Chrom curled his fingers into his palm until his knuckles turned white, as Panne stood a distance away from the farewell she did not belong to.

“This is not goodbye.” When Emmeryn turned, she became the sun itself.

* * *

 

And then, she fell.

 

* * *

“Are you alright?” Olivia steps forward timidly, not wanting to disturb the brooding Taguel in the corner. Panne sighs in reply, but doesn’t speak. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“After all this, you joined to help your Exalt and in the end...she…”

“No,” Panne says softly. “It is not me you should express your condolences to.” She begins, “It pains me to lose her, after she had done so much for my people. It hurts, deeply.” She brings her hands to rest gently on her lap, lacing her fingers together in thought. “But Chrom and his sister are the ones who suffer most from her sacrifice. If you must speak sympathy to anyone, it should be to them.”

“Yes, I know.” Olivia says, “I’ve tried, but I think they just… want to be left alone for now.” She pauses, “And I knew you loved her, too.”

“I…” Panne stops, looks away, ends her train of thought, especially when Olivia draws near.

“May I sit?” Olivia’s eyes glance at the patch of ground besides Panne. The Taguel nods, and Olivia gracefully sits beside her. She timidly brushes her hair behind her ear. There’s a moment of silence, the breeze carrying the scent of a freshly ended war, of rebirth, of renaissance, to her nose. Ylisse will go on, even without the sun.

“I didn’t meant to bother you.” The dancer twirls her hair nervously between her fingers.

“You are not.”

“Thank you for letting me sit here with you.”

“You do not have to thank me.”

“Ah.” She says. “I’m sorry. It’s just… it’s hard.” Olivia sighs then, “Trying to keep up with everyone. I want to help, I want to be useful, but perhaps it’s better if I just stayed out of everyone’s way.”

“Hm,” Panne hums then, “If you feel so strongly about it, perhaps you should try to offer assistance. I am sure Chrom could use all the help he could get.”

“How do you do it?” She asks, and when Panne turns to look at her, Olivia’s lips purse. “How are you so strong, even when everything feels like it’s tearing away at you?” There’s a familiar glimmer in Olivia’s eyes, perhaps it reminds Panne of some distant feeling of hope, something she’d seen in someone else before a long time ago.

“I don’t.” She says, finally, after some pause. “I am not always strong. But I endure. The Exalt’s death was…” Panne exhales, feeling small, “Familiar now, I suppose.” Her voice hesitates for the shortest moment, her mind thinking back on the loss of her old warren. “Everything I’ve ever done was to keep myself safe. It is...difficult, I suppose, when you can’t keep the ones you love safe. Over and over again, it happens. And I feel it too, every time. You see me as strong, but human and Taguel - perhaps we are not all that different.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation coming from me, I feel very safe around you.” Olivia stutters, and then covers her mouth with her hand, “Oh! I’m sorry, that was a weird thing to say, probably, I just meant - “

“No need.” As if Olivia’s presence gives her the strength to move forward, Panne gets to her feet, finding the energy to feel some sort of determination again. “We should return to the rest of the group now.” She turns to her, extends a hand to help her stand. “Have heart, Olivia. We’re in this together now.”

Olivia takes her hand with a shy smile, “Just knowing you're a part of this makes me feel like I can do anything.”

In that moment, when Olivia walks forwards and turns, and the glimpse of the sun against her pink hair, her skin, her clothes, Panne thinks back to someone she once knew. A memory of playing with an old friend, a comforting presence by her side… Panne returns the encouraging smile. “Thank you, Olivia.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, finally, I start posting this work. I've had these chapters sitting in my files for over a year now, so I hope they will find a good home here as I continue to edit through them.


End file.
